Playtest doubt

Showed some games and the layout for the first issue last night at a playtesting event here in town and got some really useful feedback, some enthusiasm, and a whole foaming, frothing, overflowing mug full of doubt.

Will anyone sign up for this project? Will it make any money? Does my distribution plan make sense? Is the magazine intelligible? Does it look good? Are the last 6 months of work completely worthless? Are my expectations for what Wide Open Games can become entirely unrealistic?

I came home and spewed that anxiety all over Tricia who was having a lovely evening in my absence, and that was a whole thing, but eventually I calmed down, and this morning I remembered (and Tricia reminded me) to listen to the advice that’s in my own damn games.

It’s not perfect, and that’s OK. Courage isn’t the absence of doubt, it’s moving through the doubt. Starting means finishing when it’s not perfect, and not starting over. Do the next simple thing, and the next, and the next.

So that’s what I’m doing today. Here’s this little blog. I’m not deleting a ton of work. I’m making small changes, I’m celebrating the success of having gotten this far, and I’m continuing on.