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In 2012, my now-wife and I both got really sick. We’re both doing a hell of a lot better now (almost unbelievably so, thankfully) but dealing with chronic pain has been and continues to be part of my life. As it turns out, a surprisingly complicated aspect of dealing with illness and healing has been managing my social life.

As I got better and started to have more energy, I started to come out of shell bit by bit. I could move beyond mere hibernation and survival and start to think about trying new things and making new friends. I was excited to get out there! I was going to carpe the diem!

And I started to. I joined a rec-league soccer team. I went marches and rallies. I ventured tentatively into the world on my own terms. I was going to these activities by myself, and that felt safer to me - I wasn’t letting anyone down if I got a headache and didn’t feel up to going. Then, at a phone bank during the presidential election, I ran into an old friend I hadn’t seen in about ten years. I was excited to reconnect. It felt like things were lining up for me and my expanding life. Afterwards, he sent me a Facebook message and… I didn’t read it.

I was scared. I didn’t want to commit. What if my headaches spun out of control again? What if I didn’t have enough energy to maintain a friendship? What if I made plans and had to cancel them? What if I disappointed him? So I did the chicken-shit move and let the Facebook message go unanswered.

It’s hard to let new people into our lives. We all have fears of what may go wrong if we do. Adult Friend Finder is a tongue-in-cheek take on confronting those doubts. I hope you play it and make a million friends.